I just saw a man in the library with the biggest dick I have ever seen. There is kind of a legend about this man, a round-the-water-cooler-dick-talk sort of legend. He was once wearing shorts in the children's deptartment with one leg on the floor and one leg on a chair and someone swore it fell out. That part I wasn't here for, and people kept saying he wore tight pants and it strained against them. Never noticed. Until today.

It honestly looked like the man had a mini baseball bat tucked into his pocket. Whoa. It was like the game penis where you just say the word "PENIS!" softly and then louder and louder until someone is shouting PENIS and everyone stares. This man's penis was shouting PENIS.

I had an odd dream where I had to think up what food that starts with the letter N is served with rice. I still can't think of anything now that I am awake, but in my dream I had to go to reform school. I am a Scattegories queen--you'd think I could have made something up. Sigh.

I am single handedly taking on a million projects at work. So many that I used my sick day to do brainstorming and to try to keep everything straight. Stupid branch.

PENIS!