I am in high anxiety mode today, for no real reason. My house is clean, laundry and scrubbing was done last night, my cat crawled up to lay in my arms while I was sleeping, and there were new sheets on the bed.
I had oatmeal for breakfast. I always over-estimate how hungry I am. I thought I would want two packets, but two packets of oatmeal is like eating a brick.
Back to anxiety. I am having some real friend issues where I am very jealous of a situation that I have no right to be jealous of.
For the last 5 years, I have been in the Muskateers with K and D and we have made it through being apart in different cities, different girlfriends, everything. But now that I live here and I am seeing someone, it is just not the same. K and I are doing well; our ladies get along and we all get along and we go out and do stuff, but D and A don't get along at all so we don't get to hang out all together a lot. I still want a friendship with D but I don't know if she wants that from me. I can't tell. I mean, I know she likes me, but I don't think we are really best friends anymore. Do 26-year-olds need best friends anyway? I still think so.
Anyway, so D has new friends now and hey, more power to her. I didn't think she would sit around and do nothing, but I didn't think I would be jealous of AS who is me! I feel like AS is in my spot in D's life and I am jealous. Sad or jealous. They are so close. Maybe I am a little of both? I just know that they spend time doing the stuff that D and I used to do together and that makes me anxious.
It feels like high school.
Stupid dykes.