I hate what I brought for lunch today. It is not even 10 am, and I simply cannot stop thinking about how much I don't want to eat what I put in my lunch bag.

It's salad. I know! I like salad. It is not bad salad. I had some of the same salad last night in fact. But, for some reason, thinking about it now, which I am totally doing, makes me want to throw it away. I just don't think it is going to taste very good. I am also trying to tell myself that I can just throw the salad away and eat something else, like go out and get a different salad, but I don't really believe myself. I don't know why I am dreading this salad.

It has ranch dressing. I think I hate it because I threw some lunch meat on top of it to count as protein. I don't want to eat a lunchmeat topped salad.

Maybe the Diet Coke and brownie I had for breakfast are making me mad at the salad. I think I am mad at it! No really, I am. I am mad at my salad for not being a better salad to think about.

I wish my salad could talk. "Salad," I would say, "why don't you go and do something useful instead of just sitting in the fridge making me hate you? Go get us some burgers." Then my salad would say, "Sass," it would say, "get your own damn burger. I am just a salad."

And then I would have to agree, the salad is doing the best it can at being just what it is.